On my travel day back home from San Francisco, I had a two hour stop in Las Vegas.  That's plenty of time to play the slot machines located by the gates in the airport.

It might be the only place in Vegas where you don't risk octagenarians tripping you with their canes if you race them to a nickel machine.

I love nickel machines.  It takes so much longer to lose $20.

I strolled around the concourse for awhile, in search of something to eat for lunch that didn't look like it had been processed in a Goodyear plant.  After locating, and actually enjoying, a freshly-made flatbread sandwich, I was on my way back to my gate when I saw something called an O2 Bar and Spa.

Now, I'm nothing if not curious, so I walked over for a closer look.  Jetson-style stools were lined up in front of machines filled with cylinders of water, "enhanced" with different fragrances like eucalyptus, peppermint, and watermelon.  A sign said that oxygen is good for relieving stress, headaches, tension, erectile dysfunction, and war in the Middle East.

Ok, so I made up some of those, but really, all this time I thought we only needed oxygen to live.  Who knew it had all these other benefits?

I couldn't resist.  I took the $20 that I would have lost in the slots if I'd played a quarter machine instead of a nickel one, and shimmied my butt onto the space-age seat.  The very peppy woman behind the counter, opened up a package with my own, never-before-used, nasal breathing tube.  Wow -- just like a real hospital!  I slipped it on while she instructed me how to turn the levers to use the O2 with various scents, or none at all.  "Just relax and breathe," she said.

I cleared my mind of useless, stressful thoughts like, "Would my plane be late leaving", "Was my luggage on its way to Ipanema by accident", was everybody walking by thinking, "Look at that idiot loser paying money for oxygen when we're breathing it for free?"

The lady handed me a warm wrap for my neck and shoulders.  A minute later, she walked from behind the counter with a massaging device she slipped over her knuckles and proceeded to massage my shoulders and back.

With eucalyptus and peppermint scents energizing my body, or at least tickling my nose, deep easy breathing, and the rub down, pretty soon I didn't care if a crowd gathered behind us and openly laughed.  A couple of minutes more and I started thinking this was the best idea ever and how come I'd never seen an O2 bar before?  Apparently, they're a big deal in California.  Those West Coasters are on to something. 

As the final touch, she brought out this very strange contraption made of thin wire.  With the flick of a switch, it began to buzz and she gently applied it to my head. 

The relaxing sensation tingled through my scalp right down to my toes.  I almost melted off the chair.  Only the fact that I'd have to carry it on the plane and keep it in my lap for the entire five hour flight kept me from breaking out my wallet and buying one on the spot.

I asked her if this was a franchise operation and if they serve a lot of customers throughout the day.  She said they get a lot of repeat business from frequent flyers.

No surprise.  I got a lot more pleasure out of that twenty bucks than I did from the slots.